LET'S TALK ABOUT...
LET'S TALK ABOUT... continues on the theme presented in each edition of She Who Knows Magazine as a place to continue to voice
your own feelings and experiences if you feel to.
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WINTER 2016 PORNOGRAPHY
'My first contact with pornography was finding a magazine stuffed into a hole in a stone wall on a family walk. As a young child with friends we ran with glee to look at what we had discovered that had caused our mothers to run so fast to remove it from our innocent hands. The second time was at a friend's house as an older teenager. He put it on the television without my friend and I realising what he was doing. We walked out the house as soon as we did. The third was when I found my husband masturbating to it in the attic. The fourth was when I found pornographic films on his iPhone. What does this mean to me? What does pornography represent to me? It represents the abhorrent mistreatment of women and girls in our society and across the world. It represents powerlessness to me. It raises fear. Is this what appeals to him? Should I be like this? Should I be doing this? Even at the cost of my own feelings of well being? Do I disconnect with myself to do this? Who is this man before me and who am I as a woman? As his wife? What does being a woman mean in this world? And how does the world respond when we have newspapers across the globe displaying women's naked breasts but women are not allowed to reveal their breasts themselves? Only men can make that choice for women. It is illegal for a woman to do so. The world responds by not responding. Our children are growing up with a sexual understanding based on pornography. Which itself is manned by the exploitation of vulnerable women and girls. Any woman can see the damage the pornographic industry causes. To harm one woman is to harm us all. How does this affect our daughters? His daughters? Pornography seems to me a failure to connect with the individual. Because if we were connected, we would see, not the sexual imagery before us, but the suffering endured and caused by the mass production of pornography. Where is the relationship and most important the connection? Is it between lovers, or between porn user and porn? Does this mean I am a failure as a wife because he uses the porn industry? An industry that succeeds by exploiting women. Am I simply a product of the society I have grown up in? Am I deemed a success when I have achieved the ultimate, to disconnect? My rebellion to this disconnection is connection, raising my daughters to connect. To stand on this earthly ground as a woman - with intuition, feminine strength and the willingness to stand in the shoes of all they meet, but then with insight and understanding to follow her own true self. To know her, and to stay connected to her. She will not silence herself.'